G'Day fellow tuxers……. Its Bruce your host here once again…….. Its a sunny Saturday here right now…….……

[+..••] This week in Emulationville I played [+..••]

Arcade

BioMechanical Toy (1995 Gaelco) - Run and Gun


Console

ESPN NFL 2K5 (2004 Sega) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Football)
Madden NFL 2003 (2002 EA Sports) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Football)
NASCAR: Dirt to Daytona (2002 Infogrames) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Racing)
NFL Blitz 2024 (2023 NFL Blitz Resurrection) - Nintnedo 64 - Sports (Football)
Pro Evolution Soccer 6 (2006 Konami) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Soccer)
Tecmo Super Bowl 2024 (2023 TecmoBowl.org) - Nintendo Entertainment System - Sports (Football)
TOCA Touring Car Championship (1997 Codemasters) - Sony PlayStation - Sports (Racing)


PC

NASCAR Heat 5 (2020 Motorsport Games) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
Race 07 (2007 SimBin) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
SRX: The Game (2021 Monster Games) - Steam - Sports (Racing)


Dick Trickles Racing Career: Part 42
NASCAR Dirt to Daytona: Part 42
2005 Featherlite Modified Series Season 2: Race 8

Intro music…... Hello and welcome to Left Turn Heaven….. Im Murray Eastlake and today im going to be bringing you all the action from the 2005 Featherlite Modified Series: Round 8 of 11 here at New Hampshire International Raceway……..



New Hampshire International Raceway…….

New Hampshire International Raceway is 1.058 miles long with 12 degrees of banking…… This track might only be a tad over a mile long…… But with big long straights and sweeping turns at each end…….. The cars can really stretch their legs…….. Horse power and lots of it is the name of the game here……. With plenty of room to move…… This should be a very fast and free flowing race…….

Dick Trickle is a now a three time Weekly Dirt Series Champion……. Winning TWO races during the week to wrap up the title with one race left in the season…… He also cemented his name in the record books again….. Becoming the first driver to win three championships in a row and he now has a record 31 Weekly Dirt Series race wins in a row……. With one more race left in the Weekly Dirt Racing Series this season he could make it 32 wins a row……. A stretch dating back to July 14 2002……..


2005 Weekly Dirt Racing Series: Round 8 of 10…...



2005 Weekly Dirt Racing Series: Round 9 of 10…...


Dick arrives here today with the chance of wrapping up the 2005 Featherlite Modifies Series Championship………. Dick needs to out score second placed Gray Soros by 27 points or more to secure the championship…..……. Dick will be looking for his record breaking eighth straight win this season…….

Gray Soros will be desperate to win the race to keep his slim title hopes alive……. While Joel York and Francis Lee not only need wins but they need Dick to DNF to stay in the championship hunt…… A championship is on the line…… Three drivers are in a do or die situation……. Its sure to be an exciting race……..

Dont touch the sets...... Dont touch the dials...... You wont want to miss a single moment of the 2005 Featherlite Modified Series....… Practice and qualifying are coming up right now……


Dick Trickle at the track ready to race.…


While Dick did not run many laps in practice he did spend a lot of time going over the car to make sure everything was set and ready for this very important race…… He did a few laps to check the setup but that was about it…… Dick is totally focused on the race this weekend……

Qualifying was up next and Dick was right to spend the time going over the car as the Grinch Performance Modified Flaming Dick Machine ran a faultless qualifying lap…… Setting a wicked fast lap time of 29.789……… He was 0.9 seconds clear of last years champion Jason Sulivan who was in second with a time of 30.613…….

Third was Francis Lee who set his fastest time of 31.208…….. Joel York was in fourth place just behind Francis Lee with a 31.487…….

And rounding out the top five was William Anderson……. Who set a very respectable time of 31.908…… I hope he wont have a boring race like last week……

Second place in the champion and someone who needs pull a rabbit out of the hat today is Gray Soros…….. And he was just outside the top five…….. Putting his car in sixth place…… With a time of 32.002…… He has a lot of work to do to keep his title hopes alive…….



Qualifying Results....…..



Dick Trickle lined up ready to start the race......


Dick lead the field to the green flag for the 50 lap race…….. But it was Jason Sulivan who got the jump as Dick limped off the start……..

As they headed into turn one Dick had regained the lead thanks to the ponys under the bonnet……. But with the cold tyres he was not able to corner as well as he would have liked….. And this gave Sulivan the run around the outside down the back straight…….

Francis Lee was just head of Joel York with William Anderson not to far behind with Gray Soros looking to make up places of the start right up his rear……..

Down the back straight and Dick had retaken the lead heading into turn three…… This time Dick was able to get though the turns without issue and held the lead back onto the front straight……

Francis Lee was holding onto third just as Joel York has started this event like a real racer…… Hope he knows this is a marathon……

William Anderson is already starting to fade back from the pair in front…… And Gray Soros has also drafted back from Anderson…… This is a disaster for Soros…… He needs to make up places to keep this championship alive……

Dick has built a very comfortable lead right now……. The Grinch Performance Modified Flaming Dick Machine is looking like its on rails at the moment……. Dick is driving like a champion out there……

Suddenly theres a huge plume of smoke……… An engine has let go and there is smoke all over the place……… I cant see who that is through the smoke…….. As the smoke clears I can see that its John Justin…… Justin was down in twelfth place……. So no major shake up to the running order there…….

As we reach the half way stage……. Dick is still way out in front leading by one lap over the entire field and looks to have the win all wrapped up…….. Jason Sulivan is in a very comfortable all be it very boring second place…… Francis Lee is in third with Joel York in fourth....... He is ready to pounce if there is a problem but hes not posing any real threat…… William Anderson is having another boring race in fifth place……..

While Gray Soros is still down in sixth place……. And hes not looking threatening at all…… Hes dropped right off the back of William Anderson…… I dont know where his pace has gone……. But he needs to find it quick or the championship will be over…….

In the thick of the traffic and Joel York as caught back up to Francis Lee……. York gives Lees rear end a nudge letting him know hes right up his rear…… This battle has heated right back up and Joel York wants that podium position…..

Dick squirts past both of them to put them both two laps down……. There are not many laps left now……. And Dick is in complete control of the race……. Its his to lose now thats for sure……

Joel York has a look up the inside of Francis Lee but Lee slams the door shut in Yorks face…….. York has indeed been a real racer and treated this as a marathon……. And its paid off as he is now hounding Lee…… But there is no way past at the moment…….

Francis Lee has to be smart through the traffic….. One mistake and Joel York will be be passed in a flash…… Lee is trying to get through the traffic while also blocking York this what oval racing is all about…….

Both Jason Sulivan and William Anderson have staved off the boredom and are still racing…… Two very bored race drivers today…….. I think both will be very happy to finish this race…...

As the chequered flag is waved Dick takes the win in a truly dominating fashion……. After the opening lap he never looked like losing…….. Now to wait for the others to finish and see if he is champion……

Jason Sulivan comes home second in a very solid second place…… He was nowhere near Dick today and was miles ahead of Francis Lee…… He will be happy with a second place finish after the disaster of a year he has had so far…….

Francis Lee is still holding up Joel York entering turn three for the final time……… JOEL YORK MAKES A MOVE AROUND THE OUTSIDE………. SIDE BY SIDE THROUGH TURNS THEE AND FOUR…….. NEITHER MAN IS GIVING AN INCH…….. OFF TURN FOUR THEY COME AND JOEL YORK HAS THE OUTSIDE MOMENTUM TO GET A NOSE IN FRONT………. YORK GETS LOSE ON THE MARBLES……. HE LOSES THE BACK END AND SLAMS INTO THE OUTSIDE WALL…….. YORK BOUNCES OFF THE WALL AND SPINS DOWN THE TRACK JUST MISSING FRANCIS LEE…….. DISASTER FOR JOEL YORK……. He thumps the wheel in sheer anger as he limps the car over the line to claim fourth place…...

Third was Francis Lee who had to fend off a hard charging Joel York in the final stages of the race…… Lee drove a really good defensive race today……. He will be well pleased with that third place finish……..

Fourth place was a very angry and disappointed Joel York……. He had a great race plan and showed superb race craft to get that close to Francis Lee at the end…… But he walks away with only a fourth place finish and a tore up race car to boot…… Racing can be a very cruel mistress at times……

Rounding out the top five was William Anderson……. Who had another really boring race with not much to talk about…… He is very lucky to still be awake……. But he has another top five finish this season…… Which takes his season tally to five…..

And in what was a do or die race for himself…… He utterly failed to deliver……. As second place in the championship standings Gray Soros came home in a VERY soul crushingly disappointing sixth place……. He had no real pace all weekend and couldnt find any when it really mattered…… He is still sitting transfixed in the car……. Wondering where it all went wrong……..

And with Gray Soros finishing in sixth place……. That makes DICK TRICKLE THE 2005 FEATHERLITE MODIFIED SERIES CHAMPION!!!!…….. With three races left Dick cannot be caught……. Dick takes a Featherlite Modified Series record eighth win in a season and wrapping up the championship with three races left is also a Featherlite Modified Series record……… What a day for Dick.......



Race Results..…


Dick does a mega burn out down the main straight……. They announce Dick as the champion over the PA……. And the crowd goes mental…….. Dick disappears in the cloud of smoke as the crowd chants for more Dick…….

As the smoke clears Dick makes his way to victory lane….. But Dick suddenly turns away from victory lane and makes a detour over to Jason Sulivan in the paddock area……. Dick flips Sulivan the bird “Im the new number one” says Dick as he drives past Jason Sulivan…… All Sulivan can do is yell obscenities as Dick drives away……… Then Dick finally makes it to Victory lane…….

Dick climbs out of the car and is greeted by a very excited Pussy Galore…… Pussy plants her lips on Dick as she gives him a big kiss…….

I managed to catch Dick to get a few words with the new champion……. “I AM THE CHAMPIOOOOOON!!!!!!…….. WOOOOOOOO!!!!……… Can you believe it Murray???……. What a great day……. And its sure to be a great night too……..”

“The Grinch Performance Modified Flaming Dick Machine was fantastic all race…… As per usual the guys at the shop did a great job prepping the car…… I would also like to thank Grinch Performance for sponsoring me this year……..”

“As for the race…… I could not have have asked for anything better…… I really like this track….. There is lots of room to move around and its easy to get through the lapped traffic here…… Its a great place for a race……”

“commiserations to Gray Soros……. He put one a good fight this year……. But this Dick was just to big to handle this year……. And as for [Jason] Sulivan…. He got the year he deserved after the way hes acted…… Could not have happened to a nicer guy…….”

“All the pressure is off now…… I can actually go back to enjoying my racing at Welch Valley Racing Complex…… And its time to let the hair down…… You are going to see a different Dick next week thats for sure……. Will see you there Murray…….”

Well there you have it folks…….. That is one excited Dick……. Im sure Pussy Galore will have a good night too……..

Next week the 2005 Featherlite Modified Series heads to Welch Valley Racing Complex ….. The second and final trip to the road course this season……..

With the championship decided its all just for pride now in the final three races…… Dick wants the pride of going through the season undefeated……. Jason Sulivan wants pride for winning the race……. Gray Soros would love the pride of ending the Dick domination…… And Joel York wants the pride of finally being able to beat Francis Lee….. Will any of them get the pride they want or believe they deserve???……..

Tune in next week for the answers to all these questions and more….. Exclusively here on Left Turn Heaven……..

This is Murray Eastlake reporting for Left Turn Heaven..... And until next time its goodbye from me....


Winnings.…



NASCAR Heat Weekly.…



2005 Modified Series Championship Standings after round 8 of 11.…







First lap Modified Dick action....


***INTERMISSION……...***


BioMechanical Toy…....




Its a biomechanical toy…… But not the kind your mum uses……..

The graphics….. Are actually really nice and are easily the best part of the game…… Its very very bright and colourful similar to a Jazz Jackrabbit game…… The sprites are nice and so are the backgrounds…… The animations are also nice and overall the art department did a great job on this game…….

The sounds……. The sounds are ok……. The music is great with very mid 90’s guitar rifts…… But the guns and enemy sounds are very much lacking….. Nothing really bad just meh…...

The controls…… Are weird……. Its a run and gun where you cant actually run and gun…… The character doesnt move while shooting…….. And the jumping is very floaty and he takes an age to land……. The game wants to be a run and gun so bad but not being able to move while shooting makes the controls feel very stiff and unresponsive……. While moving when not shooting feels nice and fluid…….

The storyline….… April O’Neil has been kidnapped by her……. uhhhh…… Biomechanical toy…… And its up to the Ninja Turtles to rescue her from her….. ummmm….. Toy……. Wait……. Wrong game again….. *Shuffles papers*……. A villain by the name of Scrubby has escape prison with plans to steal the Magic Pendulum which brings toys to life…… Relik a cuckoo clock who guards the Magic Pendulum was not able to prevent the theft…… And now its up to Inguz to stop Scrubby and return the Magic Pendulum to Relik the cuckoo clock…...

The gameplay…...… It ranges from meh to infuriating……. This game has a lot of problems gameplay wise……. Not being able to move and shoot really hurts the game……. As there are usually a lot of enemies on the screen at one time……. So standing still makes you a sitting duck…… And this game is really freaking hard…… So many enemies on screen at once makes it really hard to dodge then and not take damage……..

The levels themselves are ok with most leading you all over the place from left to right and up to down…… But again they have a lot of unfair quarter munching enemy placement…….

The bosses are……… Ehhhhh……. Ok……. They are just huge sprites with simple moving patterns and projectiles to dodge…….

The gun play is ok……. Default gun feels quite weak and the special ammo you get from crates lacks imagination and is more of the standard fair……..

Overall…… If you really want to play it…... Just play the first level……. Its pretty much the same after that just without the frustration metre turned up to 11…….. I really did not enjoy my time with this game…..

And that is why my final score for BioMechanical Toy is a broken Buzz Lightyear out of 10…….


BioMechanical Toy…....


The Road To PES Penguin 6


The road to unlock the PES Penguin in Pro Evolution Soccer 6 is at 1450 PES points out of 5000……….


The Best Worst Ad I Saw During College Football…...

This week we have this Nissan ad…... Its your typical cheesy commercial featuring former NFL players…….. And its a nice play on words too…… Its much better than most of the commercials ive featured here…….


Next week…… There will be more hardcore modified Dick Trickle racing action in NASCAR: Dirt to Daytona……. Touring car racing in Race 07…….. And more PES Penguin 6……….


And I will just leave this here……..


Well thats it from me…… Hope all you tuxers have a good week……

Now for my bad joke of the week……
I took my wife to the orchard for her birthday...... We stood their for an hour watching the trees......... This was not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently........
*ba dum.... tssssh…...*