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Weekend Players' Club 2/16/2024
G'Day fellow tuxers……. Its Bruce your host here once again…….. Its another Saturday here right now…….……


[+..••] As for gaming this week in Emulationville I played [+..••]

Arcade

Pocket Gal 2 (1989 Data East) - Sports (Pool)


Console

ESPN NFL 2K5 (2004 Sega) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Football)
International Superstar Soccer 2000 (2000 Konami) - Nintendo 64 - Sports (Soccer)
Madden NFL 2003 (2002 EA Sports) - Nintendo GameCube - Sports (Football)
NBA Courtside 2 Featuring Kobe Bryant (1999 Nintendo) - Nintendo 64 - Sports (Basketball)
Pro Evolution Soccer 6 (2006 Konami) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Soccer)
Strip Fighter II (1993 Games Express) - NEC PC Engine - Fighting
Summer Heat Beach Volleyball (2003 Acclaim) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Beach Volleyball)
Tecmo Super Bowl 2024 (2023 TecmoBowl.org) - Nintendo Entertainment System - Sports (Football)
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 (2000 Activision) - Sega Dreamcast - Sports (Skateboarding)
Virtual Pool 64 (1998 Crave) - Nintendo 64 - Sports (Pool)


PC

art of rally (2020 Funselektor Labs) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
NASCAR Heat 5 (2020 Motorsport Games) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
Race 07 (2007 SimBin) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
SRX: The Game (2021 Monster Games) - Steam - Sports (Racing)


This week was Valentines Day…… So I played the most romantic games I know…… Pocket Gal 2 and Strip Fighter II……….

In Pocket Gal 2…… You play pool against an attractive woman…… And the higher your score is at the end of the game the more clothes she will take off…….. Its basically strip pool…….


Pocket Gal 2 (1989 Data East) - Sports (Pool)…..


Strip Fighter II…… Is just like Street Fighter II in every single way….. Except worse controls……. Smaller character roster…… Worse graphics....... And worse sound……

But it makes up for all those shortcomings in the gameplay……. Perform special moves that make your character strip down and do devastating boobie based attacks…… Including Amandas amazing Boobblade……. and that more than makes up for all of the games shortcomings.......…





Strip Fighter II (1993 Games Express) - NEC PC Engine - Fighting…..


Summer Heat Beach Volleyball…...



I cant believe this is not Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volleyball……..

The graphics….. There is boobie jiggle physics……. Thats all there is to know about the graphics…….

The sounds……. Nice moaning and grunting sounds…… Not to loud or manly like in tennis…… A very good balance…….

The controls……... A bit fondly….. She needs to be standing in just the right spot to hit the ball….. Can be very frustrating……. At least the jiggle physics will keep you amused…….

The storyline....... There is no storyline so I get to make one up……. April O’Neil is on the scene at a California Beach……. Authorities believe they had found a breast implant belonging to the missing Summer Heat Beach Volleyball star Abby……

After many hours of studying the “breast implant” it turns out it was just a dead jellyfish that washed up on the beach during the night……..

A very disappointed April O’Neil is back at her hotel room….. *At least this nice room was paid for by Channel 6* she thinks to herself while watching the EVO Strip Fighter II Tournament on the skinemax channel…..

Just then the building starts to shake……. And the wall around the window starts to crumble….. The wall is then ripped out by a huge metallic golden hand………. With the wall gone April O’Neil can clearly seem the huge shiny golden mech……..

“I found you again at last” says the demonic voice from the mech……. “The Doritos Pope never quits”………. April screams in terror and the giant golden hand reaches out for her……..

“You like my exclusive loot box golden skin for my Titan???……. Its from the cancelled Titanfall Online game…… Its amazing what you can get special access to when you are able to bring even the powerful Electronic Arts to their knees for favourable coverage…… By me…….. The all powerful and knowing pontiff……… THE ONE AND ONLY…….. DORITOS POPE!!!!”……..

And with that the Doritos Pope snatches April O’Neil from her hotel room and takes her away to his secret lair……..

Can the Ninja Turtles find April O’Neil in time????…….. Will Pengling be the unlikely hero???…… “No chance” interjects Pengling…… “My robot army is busy doing important things…… Like cleaning the office”…… errrrr….. Well good luck Turtles…… You might need it……….

The gameplay…… Play beach volleyball with a group of scantly clad beautiful ladies……. You can also play with the men if your into that kind of thing…….

Overall…… Very much the PlayStations answer to Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volleyball….. Including the boobie jiggle physics.....

And that is why my final score for Summer Heat Beach Volleyball is a episode of Baywatch out of 10……...






Summer Heat Beach Volleyball…..


The Road To PES Penguin 6


The road to unlock the PES Penguin in Pro Evolution Soccer 6 is at 3150 PES points out of 5000……….


Other Screenshots……...


Madden NFL 2003 (2002 EA Sports) - Nintendo Gamecube - Sports (Football)



Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 (2000 Activision) - Sega Dreamcast - Sports (Skateboarding)



International Superstar Soccer 2000 (2000 Konami) - Nintendo 64 - Sports (Soccer)



NASCAR Heat 5 (2020 Motorsport Games) - Steam - Sports (Racing)



ESPN NFL 2K5 (2004 Sega) - Sony PlayStation 2 - Sports (Football)



NBA Courtside 2 Featuring Kobe Bryant (1999 Nintendo) - Nintendo 64 - Sports (Basketball)



SRX: The Game (2021 Monster Games) - Steam - Sports (Racing)



art of rally (2020 Funselektor Labs) - Steam - Sports (Racing)



Race 07 (2007 SimBin) - Steam - Sports (Racing)



Virtual Pool 64 (1998 Crave) - Nintendo 64 - Sports (Pool)


Well thats it from me…… Hope all you tuxers have a good week……

Now for my bad joke of the week……
Q: Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer????.......
A: A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.........
*ba dum.... tssssh…...*
Pengling Feb 17

My pick for this weekend is Baldi's Basics Classic Remastered (Native Linux), a modernised-under-the-hood version of the original Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning (also Native Linux, and which doesn't seem to like the Steam Deck, hence why I'm playing Classic Remastered instead), which was a big hit that came out of a 2018 game-jam whose brief was to create a "game about games". Its creator chose to resurrect a comic character he'd created as a youngster and make a light-horror game inspired by shoddily-made 1990s PC edutainment software - primarily 1996's Sonic's Schoolhouse, which was a bizarre premise even at the time (and yes that is a real game that was sold for real money in real stores, though I would fully understand if you guys don't want to believe that it is! Sega even tried to market it as "Doom for kids"!). Baldi's Basics became a bit of a phenomenon and even spawned a bunch of merchandise; And yes Spider, before you ask, I do indeed have an official Baldi plush in my gaming memorabilia collection.


At its core, Baldi's Basics is a maze-chase game, but in 3D and with a Doom-like perspective. Except you're trying to retrieve seven notebooks and outrun a crazy and possibly evil teacher, and have to deal with a bunch of colourul wackos who are mainly just out to get in your way. These include "Playtime", who tries to make you play skipping-rope games with her, "It's a Bully" who will steal items from you, and the amusingly-named "Principal of the Thing" who will give you detention if he sees you breaking the school-rules while he patrols the building - "NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS!".


As for why I picked it this week, it's because, though I've gotten close a few times in the original release, I've never yet completed it, so I figured that I'd dig into the remaster on my Steam Deck and try to do so this weekend. And, with that, I'll leave you with the excellent Baldi's Basics: The Musical, by the always-hilarious Random Encounters, which also happens to do a great job of explaining the premise of the game in a catchy nutshell.

[+..••] Other stuff that I played this week;


Blaster Master Boy (GB)


Bomberland (C64)


Conker's Bad Fur Day (N64)


Dr. Mario (NES)


Mickey's Speedway USA (N64)


Robo Warrior (NES)


Snowboard Kids (N64)


Super Bomberman R 2 (Proton)


The NewZealand Story (C64)

Quoting: StoneColdSpiderThis week was Valentines Day…… So I played the most romantic games I know…… Pocket Gal 2 and Strip Fighter II……….

In Pocket Gal 2…… You play pool against an attractive woman…… And the higher your score is at the end of the game the more clothes she will take off…….. Its basically strip pool…….


Pocket Gal 2 (1989 Data East) - Sports (Pool)…..


Strip Fighter II…… Is just like Street Fighter II in every single way….. Except worse controls……. Smaller character roster…… Worse graphics....... And worse sound……

But it makes up for all those shortcomings in the gameplay……. Perform special moves that make your character strip down and do devastating boobie based attacks…… Including Amandas amazing Boobblade……. and that more than makes up for all of the games shortcomings.......…





Strip Fighter II (1993 Games Express) - NEC PC Engine - Fighting…..
Well, I see that Mr. Trickle has finally returned to your posts, after a fashion.

Quoting: StoneColdSpider“I found you again at last” says the demonic voice from the mech……. “The Doritos Pope never quits”………. April screams in terror and the giant golden hand reaches out for her……..

“You like my exclusive loot box golden skin for my Titan???……. Its from the cancelled Titanfall Online game…… Its amazing what you can get special access to when you are able to bring even the powerful Electronic Arts to their knees for favourable coverage…… By me…….. The all powerful and knowing pontiff……… THE ONE AND ONLY…….. DORITOS POPE!!!!”……..
This is clearly one of the best villain-entrances ever.

Quoting: StoneColdSpiderCan the Ninja Turtles find April O’Neil in time????…….. Will Pengling be the unlikely hero???…… “No chance” interjects Pengling…… “My robot army is busy doing important things…… Like cleaning the office”…… errrrr….. Well good luck Turtles…… You might need it……….
HAHAHA! Bloody right!

Quoting: StoneColdSpider
Madden NFL 2003 (2002 EA Sports) - Nintendo Gamecube - Sports (Football)
He looks like he's getting really angry at a garden gnome who's wandered onto the field, or something.

Quoting: StoneColdSpider
Race 07 (2007 SimBin) - Steam - Sports (Racing)
Y'know, aside from the crowd, this could quite easily pass for a photograph at the size the forum has brought it down to! This is a really nice-looking game.

Quoting: StoneColdSpider
Virtual Pool 64 (1998 Crave) - Nintendo 64 - Sports (Pool)
Hahaha! It's like it was made for you, Spider!
Quoting: Pengling
My pick for this weekend is Baldi's Basics Classic Remastered (Native Linux), a modernised-under-the-hood version of the original Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning
Im glad I didnt get that in my school...... Learning from him would be a nightmare......

Quoting: Pengling
At its core, Baldi's Basics is a maze-chase game, but in 3D and with a Doom-like perspective. Except you're trying to retrieve seven notebooks and outrun a crazy and possibly evil teacher
Yeah that sounds just like my time at school......

Quoting: Pengling
As for why I picked it this week
Cause your insane???......

Quoting: Pengling
Bomberland (C64)
GOD DAMMIT PENGLING!........

Quoting: Pengling
Conker's Bad Fur Day (N64)
"Well, #@&!% to you then." if your playing the Xbox refake.......

Quoting: Pengling
Dr. Mario (NES)
I always knew there was more to Mario..... I knew Princess Peach wouldnt date a ordinary plumber......

Quoting: Pengling
Mickey's Speedway USA (N64)
Would be hard to drive with the screen all warped like that.......

Quoting: Pengling
Snowboard Kids (N64)
This skier looks like one of those troll dolls back from in the day that would you jam the pencil up its arse.......


Quoting: Pengling
Super Bomberman R 2 (Proton)
I thought he was wearing bondage gear...... But hes just dressed up like Solid Snake......
Also.....
GOD DAMMIT PENGLING!!..... x2.......

Quoting: Pengling
The NewZealand Story (C64)
Man I really thought the N64 version would have looked better......

Quoting: PenglingWell, I see that Mr. Trickle has finally returned to your posts, after a fashion.
He was aiming for Uranus but he hit Lake Titicaca......... Maybe he should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.......

Quoting: PenglingThis is clearly one of the best villain-entrances ever.
Im glad you liked it........ Took me way to long to remember the name of "Titanfall".....

Quoting: PenglingHAHAHA! Bloody right!
I know you way to well........

Quoting: PenglingHe looks like he's getting really angry at a garden gnome who's wandered onto the field, or something.
It could also have been a possum.......

Quoting: PenglingY'know, aside from the crowd, this could quite easily pass for a photograph at the size the forum has brought it down to! This is a really nice-looking game.
Considering its from 2007 it holds up damn well today...... I really like the look of the game as well.....

Quoting: PenglingHahaha! It's like it was made for you, Spider!
Yes I think it was made for me.......
Though personally I would have gone with "Dick Cue Stick"......
Pengling Feb 22
Quoting: StoneColdSpiderIm glad I didnt get that in my school...... Learning from him would be a nightmare......
I grew up in a backwards little village with tech-fearing teachers, and there was only one teacher who understood that it was important to actually use them to teach stuff (for the rest they were either cupboard-space-takers or high-tech dust-gatherers), so I might've had better luck if Baldi had been there.

Quoting: StoneColdSpiderYeah that sounds just like my time at school......
Hahaha!

Quoting: StoneColdSpiderCause your insane???......
Maybe. But remember to support your indies, ladies and gents!

Quoting: StoneColdSpiderGOD DAMMIT PENGLING!........


Quoting: StoneColdSpider"Well, #@&!% to you then." if your playing the Xbox refake.......
Hahaha, yes. Promote your console as the big-manly-men option, then censor all the low-grade swearing when even Nintendo didn't bother with that. (Given this, can you believe that there are people out there who unironically debate whether the one with a name like a toy train-set or the one that sounds like a box of dirty magazines is "The console for REAL MEN"? )

Quoting: StoneColdSpiderI always knew there was more to Mario..... I knew Princess Peach wouldnt date a ordinary plumber......
I don't think he's a qualified medical professional at all!

Quoting: StoneColdSpiderThis skier looks like one of those troll dolls back from in the day that would you jam the pencil up its arse.......
HAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, that's a pretty good description of the game's art-style in general, actually!

Quoting: StoneColdSpiderI thought he was wearing bondage gear...... But hes just dressed up like Solid Snake......
Oh lord, Spider.

Quoting: StoneColdSpiderAlso.....
GOD DAMMIT PENGLING!!..... x2.......
(Part 2.)

Quoting: StoneColdSpiderHe was aiming for Uranus but he hit Lake Titicaca......... Maybe he should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.......
Oh gawd.

Quoting: StoneColdSpiderIm glad you liked it........ Took me way to long to remember the name of "Titanfall".....
That one died a death, didn't it?

Quoting: StoneColdSpiderI know you way to well........
April O'Neil has well and truly burned that bridge, mate!

Quoting: StoneColdSpiderIt could also have been a possum.......
Hopefully not this one. Though, on second thought, that might be EXACTLY why he's so angry!

Last edited by Pengling on 22 February 2024 at 5:59 am UTC
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